Thank goodness there is camp next week! YAY!

I can't wait because being at home is killing me. Plus, my computer cannot work. My dad pulled out the wire, so right now... I'm being smart and typing on my laptop. This is what smart people do alright. ;)

The story continues from Friday.

So the entire weekend, we were spared from boredom. Or at least I was.
They didn't really do much to punish my brother who in the end, also disobeyed them. He doesn't listen to my parents mainly because my parents aren't strict with him.
Like when I disobey them, my punishments are like ten times worst okay. Unfair.

Anyway.
My brother, trying to outwit his entire family... Pretended he was sick on Monday mornin, and of course my mother was blind to it. So she let him sit at home. Hah. Stupidity.
He pretended to be sleeping when my parents called. While all the time, he was actually DOTA-ing. Stupid. really.

Then, his school called. Expected.
My brother told me not to pick up. Initially I had wanted to answer but no, my brother had to tell me not to pick up. So, obviously... Since you can't reach the homephone, the school would have to call the handphone. And they did.

My dad was at a course so he came home VERY early.
And guess what, he managed to find out ALL ABOUT my brother's ponning. Stupid brother. Pon school also don't know how to pon properly.

Sigh.
Then, his school is banning parents letter for him. So, have to go get MC.
As if MC is that hard to get for my family.
And my mom was saying, his school actually quite strict leh.
I'm rolling my eyes there because.
In Kranji, my whole of 4 years... Parents letter is not allowed okay. -.-'''

You compare. Please.

Then my mom was saying I pon school a lot. Got meh?
In Kss, I never pon. I pon but she don't know.
So yeah.


Frustrated la.
D:
Can tell that my parents are biased alright.
Now, I'm being punished for something I didn't do. This is stupid.

THE GRADUATE
畢業生

I finally finished watching this!
It's really different from all the other dramas I've watched.

Firstly, it's a 5 episode miniseries. It's just 5 short films and none of them are related to each other. However, these 5 films actually have a moral behind them and it is definitely not one of your typical idol dramas. Well, there aren't that many idols in this drama. You'll probably recognise A Chord in one of the films. Once again, he's just a supporting character.

Each story is unique and it has a very good storyline. It does have a plot & I think that the drama is really suitable for teenagers because it teaches us about things in life such as friendship etc.


I really love watching it because it is very real and these things do happen everyday.


Episode 1- Lonely Game

Xiao An & Xiao Die are best friends who travel to Taipei to become hairstylists however, something happens that causes Xiao Die to fall out with Xiao An. Xiao Die calls it betrayal and in the end, something happens to Xiao An which causes Xiao Die to regret.
The episode emphasises on not knowing what we have until it's gone and how painful that feeling is when we find out that we're never going to have it back.


Episode 2 - Black Summer

It's summer vacation and the male lead intends on trying out something new so he finds his cousin who is in a gang. So, things happen such as fighting with a rival gang and there is another loss in the drama.
The episode teaches us about blind courage and the unthinkable consequences that comes with it. Sometimes, we think that it's cool and everything but we don't realise that we can get hurt and even loose our own lives.
Although it's set to be a fictional story, I think that it is one of the most real stories so far because these things do happen. (Such as joining gangs, gangfights etc.)
Btw, A Chord appears in the drama.

Episode 3 -Fortunately We're all Still Here

The storyline is slightly similar to Black Summer but it's more about taking risks. Frankly speaking, it took me quite a while to understand what it's talking about.

Episode 4 - Mimi's Wandering Mind.

Mimi is a girl who lives in a rather broken home. Her father hits her mother for money and hence, Mimi ran away. She ended up meeting A Hao who does care for her but ends up "being her pimp." She is then sent to something like a girls home where all the other girls have problems at home etc. Initially it took Mimi some time to get used to the environment but slowly she learns to let go.
I like this one the best. I guess it is because I like the storyline and what happens in the end. It's quite sweet actually.

Episode 5 - Waves Of Nature

This is one story I bet most girls could relate to.
It's about popularity and backstabbing and all that bitchy stuff. It's the simplest story to understand maybe because it does happen to every girl.



=

~


I am not sure when my next update will be but I can tell you that I might loose all my freedom because of my younger brother. I am unsure whether I'll be allowed out or even online on weekends. I lost what I worked so hard for and that is the freedom I now have. If I'm going to go back to square one, then it's good that school will be starting very very soon. I'll count down.

I hope you see the truth this time and stop putting that burden on my shoulders. I wish you could realise just how hard I've tried and what a fool you are. This time, I can only rely on myself to fight this battle and get through it. He's not there for me now, so I'll have to do this alone.
Why can't you see it? How hard I've had to fight just so that you will accept me and treat me like a real person? It's been so hard. Too hard.
All the times I've tried to be the person you want me to be. It's not who I am but I gave up everything just for you. Why? Why can't you just see it? Will you stop being so biased now? Open your eyes. Just please. I beg of you.

OUTING! BOWLING & LASER QUEST!

Miss these people so much♥ . The last time I met them was.... Two weeks ago & that was less than half of them. Each time I meet them, something happens! And it's a whole lot of fun.

This time, we went bowling & laser quest at Bukit Gombak! :D
Awesome!

I actually only got ready at like... 12.30pm when we were supposed to meet at Gombak Mrt at 1pm. I left my house at 1.15pm okay! Wanted to take the train but decided to bus there instead since it is more convenient for me plus it stops directly in front of HTNS. :D
Reached there quite late but not that late because the bus was for me.

Bowled first.
Incredible man! I improved. I think.
Second time at this so I'm a noob.
And I ended up breaking a nail. My nails were short okay & they broke! Plus it's very deep so now, I have to keep short nails. Why am I being bimbotic?
Injured my thumb too. It's bruised but not too badly.
Now I really really understand how he felt when he had to play for me & himself. Hehe.
The scene of the bowling alley and the seats just brought back memories but it's alright. I had fun bowling.


We only played one round because .... I forgot the reason.

Anyway, we went back to the first floor to play laser quest but apparently, some people already booked it. So we had to wait until 5pm. Hence, we decided to go eat first! FOOD! At Alif.

Today's Mee Kuah was not as nice as the previous Mee Kuahs. ):
I felt that it was lacking spices and flavour. I don't know. Maybe it's because I burnt my tongue the other day so food doesnt taste the same to me.


After eating, we went & walked back to HTNS!
Laser quest! :D
We played for like 20 mins.
10 ppl max. ):
Okay. So, we split into teams.
Red team - Amirul, Haziq, Syukri, Azie & me!
Yellow/Green team - Dama, Natasha, Mus, Hairul, Alif

Best part of the game was the fact that we decided to play in total darkness.
I totally forgot I'm night blind (cannot see in the dark) so when it was total darkness, it was really super bad for me.

So, when we were walking in & it suddenly turned extremely dark. It sucked! I couldn't even see. So Haziq and Amirul were like leading us at first. Azie and I were at the back.
And because I couldn't see...
I held on to Amirul's shirt and walked. (Does this bring you flashbacks of what happened then?)
The pulling of shirt. Lmao.
Well, it was for a short time only. What did you expect? Run around pulling his shirt? Sure got hole later.

Okay, so the rest of the time, it was super dark. I kept banging into Azie. Sorry.
And the person we bumped into the most of the time is Hairul and Natasha. I think Hairul was like everywhere. Super noisy because when he popped up, he would make so much noise.

I think I had it real bad because I banged into the wall while running.. D:
Lucky I have removed my braces and was wearing my contact lenses or else they would probably break.

I think this proves I'm very bad at laser quest because I was attacked like... most of the time. Still, my second time playing so who cares right? Anyway, it's better to have fun.

Oh & btw, our Red team won! :D
How cool is that?

For 20 mins, I probably had a good workout. I feel slimmer already! ;D

This was the photo when they went for the second round, with Atiqah, Faizal & their friend. (I forgot the name) Sexy right?

This one even sexier. :D
I think we're all high on the ANTM drug so we decided to go Top Model on this one.
Love the photo! ♥
Wanna be on top?
I like to call this one Laser Quest Next Top Model.



Sad because I had to leave early again. Particularly because of my parents. ):
Sian. Will probably only enjoy freedom in the next few months.
Can't wait for next outing.

Wo De Cuo - B.A.D





飞机已离开机场
你选择了前往你的方向
不再迷惘
忘了我们爱的过往
忘了我给你的伤
学会坚强
从前的我不懂你牺牲多大
为我失去朋友不讲
还放弃了所有梦想
觉得没怎样
不会将心比心去想
让你慢慢慢慢失去了希望
能不能够再给我机会好好的爱你
我会仔细的聆听
你对我说的一言一语
我会学会去控制脾气不让你伤心
对你好好的去珍惜
请你相信我的心还是爱你
我想再重来一次
回到过去弥补你的伤
没那种事
怎么做才能够停止
后悔竟伤你如此
不再放肆
为何总到失去才懂的难过
当你在我身边的时候
总是为我默默守候
都是为我的错
错过这难得的拥有
就让你爱我的心慢慢溜走
能不能够再给我机会好好的爱你
我会仔细的聆听
你对我说的一言一语
我会学会去控制脾气不让你伤心
对你好好的去珍惜
请你相信我的心还是爱你




Translation:

The plane has left the airport
You’ve chosen to move forward with your own direction
No longer lost in delusion
To forget of our love’s past
To forget all the pain I caused you
To learn to be strong
I didn’t understand how much you’ve sacrificed
You kept silent when you lost your friends because of me
On top of that, giving up all of your dreams
You felt it was nothing
Can’t compare who has the bigger heart
You slowly let yourself lose all hopes
Can you please give me another chance to love you better
I will pay close attention to
Every word you say
I’ll learn to control my temper so as not to make you sad
I’ll cherish you better
Please trust that my heart still loves you
I’d like to have another fresh start
To go back to make up for all the pain you got
Guess there’s no such thing
What should I do so this will stop
I have only regrets for hurting you like this
I will no longer bring you devastation
Why is it always that you don’t know what you got till it’s gone
When you were at my side
Always taking care of me silently
It’s all my fault
For I’ve failed to keep such precious possession
That is to let your loving heart towards me slowly go away
Can you please give me another chance to love you better
I will pay close attention to
Every word you say
I’ll learn to control my temper so as not to make you sad
I’ll cherish you better
Please trust that my heart still loves you





~


This song has touched my heart.
From day one when I first heard it until now.
Then, I was fourteen & it was strangely sent to me by CG (I used to dislike him & like his friend). Unexpected.
Even stranger is that I used to talk a lot on the phone to him and I am not known for long conversations on the phone.
Then, a few days ago...
I suddenly decided to listen to the song on imeem and to find the lyrics.
And just then, I cried because almost every word described what I was feeling deep down.



I'm sorry but those words will never be enough for us anymore. Moving on is always hard and even if I try my best, that might not be enough. I have to believe. Believe that these wounds will heal.
I wish I had fought on that day, to tell you that I still care but what was wrong with me?
Why did I let myself let you go? Deep down I know that we would never work out because we were from two different worlds and our parents would object to us being together. So, why is it so hard for me?
Maybe it's because you were the first real relationship in my life.
Yes, the first cut is indeed the deepest.
But I'm trying as hard as I can. T o be strong.

HAPPY APRIL FOOLS DAY!

I didn't even realise it was already April until I got tricked around midnight. Then again, would most people realise that it's already a new day after the clock strikes twelve? I don't know. I just know I was still thinking it is March until I got tricked.

Worst thing is, I got fooled thrice. Am I an idiot or what? Oh well, like what Ami said, I'm really gullible.


Anyway, I can't even recall how I spent April Fools last year and the previous years. I don't know why. Must have been because I rarely celebrate April Fools Day and my pranks are hardly successful. You must be a Mandy to pull a successful one. (Flashbacks of all of Mandy's pranks back in school come to mind)

I think last year. I most probably woke up to a Good Morning & Happy April Fools sms. Nothing much. Thought of it as a normal day.


Speaking of pranks...
I'm lucky Mandy hasn't tried one on me this year. I miss her.


I remember in Sec 2. She bought this farting cushion which makes a LOUD fart sound when you sit on it. She brought it to school and I didnt even realise it.
So, after we greeted the teacher. She decided to slip it on my chair and me being extremely blur, sat and it and there was this SUPER DUPER LOUD FART SOUND.
Of course I straight away knew who was the culprit. Actually the whole class already knew. Wth. -.-'''


I think the only prank that really succeeded was the one me and Mandy prank called someone. HAHA! I can't tell you who that someone is. Later she read my blog and this post, I die.

All I can say is...

We pretended to find her number on the net & we pretended that we wanted to get to know her. And we were trying to be all creepy. HAHA!
And all this was done on Orchard Road. -.-'''

AWESOME!


Okay. My life isn't funny at all...



Anyway, just stay happy okay! :D



p.s I really don't know why I'm blogging now.

Fahrenheit's autograph session

Fahrenheit's Autograph Session






I am still very happy after what happened last night. I finally know what it feels like to be an idol chaser and you know what, it's awesome!

So. Yesterday, Chin Ming & I decided to go to their autograph session to catch a glimpse of those four hunks! :D
We took a look at the queue & it was LONG!
Seriously long, all the way at the fourth floor. At the carpark. It was endless!

It shows how popular they are.

So anyway, the most exciting bit was when we went to wait for them at the fourth floor. :)
Extremely happy because the three of us (Ami, Chin & I) got a very good location which was by the escalator which they were going down! :D

So. We waited. And there was already a damn huge crowd downstairs at the thirdfloor. So, we were extremely lucky!

We thought they would be coming in from our right, so there was already a pathway for them. However, suddenly... A few fans screamed. So, all of us started screaming but they still haven't arrived yet.

Then...
One of the bodyguards went, coming! And more screams! So, we turned around and in they walked. I rushed over to where they were supposed to walk. :D

And the bodyguard was like pushing me back. So, the only thing between us was the damn bodyguard.
I think I was one of the fastest to react because once people saw them. They stood there and stunned there for a while. I rushed la! :D Damn high.

Calvin came out first. He's like really tall. The minute I noticed him and his face, I screamed! :D
Exhilarating!

Then Aaron walked in, I saw his smile!!! Omg! So nice. :D

Then Jiro, I think I only noticed his hair because I was fumbling with my camera.

Oh! and finally Wu Zun, when he walked past me! :D I saw his eyes and nose and I went AAAHH~

Then they went down the escalator and we were like chasing them but we were blocked by the bodyguards of course. I was like right behind them because everybody else was still... stunned and all that! :D

DAMN HIGH!
I was higher than Chin Ming!
Then while waiting for them to go down the escalator... I grabbed hold of Chin Ming's hand. So funny! :D

And finally, when they allowed us fans to go down. I rushed down and sort of left Ami & Chin behind.
I actually "FLEW" down like nobody's business. It was as if I wasn't afraid of heights at all!

I was so far in front.

Then there was all that squeezing to get through the door. It was really hot and the fans were all sweating. I was still holding Chin's hand. LOL. And there was this girl in between us together with her friends. She was like leaning on me. LOL. Very funny! And I was protecting my boobies!

It was really really sweaty and oh boy, it was a workout!
Couldn't breath for a few seconds there!


Anyway, I was kinda lucky I'm pretty tall compared to all those other girls because I got to see them not only very clearly, I got air to breathe.

And something we realised from all the jostling... The big people tend to not get pushed around. So I was lucky. Chin & Ami got pushed around.


Haha. Thank goodness I learnt some things about idol chasing from Yuting's previous experiences. No flash when taking pictures when chasing them. No slippers, will get stepped on. No pumps, sure blisters. Thank goodness for my very fake crocs! :D

I love them a lot!

I think being in that sort of crowd was exhilirating. I could feel myself going high just by chasing them. Wooh!


Omg! Yaya is one lucky lucky girl! :DD

And if any of those fans who were there during the autograph session are reading this, HELLO!
And if the four gorgeous guys are reading this...
HELLO! I WISH YOU FOUR BOYS ALL THE BEST! I WILL SUPPORT YOU ALL THE WAY! JIA YOU! LOVE YOU!
Sorry. I don't know how to type in Chinese and I don't really know how to speak Chinese.
I can only say...

Ni hao. Wo shi Aishah. Wo ai ni! Wo yong yuan support ni! Jia You wor! Xie Xie!

(omg. I totally forgot how to write support in pin yin)

It sounds broken. I know. Sorry. Sorry. It sounds better when I speak it. Trust me!



I don't have much pictures because I took video when they came but... I didn't really capture them. I captured the bodyguard. -.-'''
So, I got some pics which I took from waaaaaaaaay behind. Really really cool!

My mom actually said that I'm eighteen already but still behaving like a groupie. Not my fault. I am a fangirl. Always will be :D














That's the closest I could go. My camera cannot zoom anymore. Sadness.





P.s If you watched ToGetHer the other day, you would have heard Chord's Gou Ai which Ben was lip synching to. Gou Ai! :D

Ai Ni De Wo!

I went crazy upon hearing it! Super high! :D
I wonder if you watched it. And if you did, did your thoughts instinctively go to me when the song played and did you miss me as much as I miss you?

THIS IS MY CURRENT FASCINATION. :D

That's Allison Harvard.
She piques my interest with her big big eyes. They are so different.
She's actually from Americas Next Top Model Cycle 12.
And so far, she's one of my favourites!

To tell you the truth, I've been spending the past few days watching ANTM. Recently, I just completed watching Cycle 12. Was rooting for Sheena actually but I'm cool that McKey won. Oh major spoiler. Sorry, I know. Cycle 11 is still airing on Channel 5.

Still, Cycle 12 is so much cooler although from the first few eps, I think it's kinda not cool anymore. ):
It used to be so hot & sexy. Now it's dying...
Hmmm. I like London & Teyona. Fo isn't bad either. Tahlia made me feel comfortable with my scars & I'm gonna go out and bare some more skin. Who cares about my scars?!
I liked Sandra's features but her attitude sucks.


Anyway, this is Allison.
She actually got the best picture for the first episode. You go girl!

She gives me this doll-like feeling. It's scary but Aii loves! :D

Oh you should sooooooooo watch her interview video!



Oh. I googled her & I found some photos of her.
Creepy but cute. :D
She's known as Creepy Chan! :D

She gives me this cool ghostly feel. A Victorian feel too. Bet she would look great in lolita.
I love!

This one is kinda scary. A bit like how she is bleeding and crying blood! :D
I love.

This is her make-over. They should have made her hair red or jet black. :D


Yes, I love this creepy girl.

After watching ANTM, I'm ready. (:

The past few days, I've been working hard to loose weight & tone my body but I still feel it isn't enough. I jogged around the house, but it's not the same. I did countless crunches & sit-ups but my stomach still isn't flat. I can feel my muscle aching after my hard work but I don't see much or any difference. My stupid stomach is still bulging. Perhaps, it's my own fault for gorging myself too much.

I've been controlling my diet. Eating dinner at 6pm or earlier instead of the usual timing. I'm trying my best to eat lesser but it doesn't seem to work. I feel hungry very easily. ):


I want that slim body in a few days but I forget that it's impossible to do it within a few days. I need months. My weight went down by 3kg in Nov & Dec but I went to KL, I gained what I lost.


I'm content with my body but I'm not happy with all the flabby parts. My upper thighs, my butt, my stomach, my arms and a bit of my back.

Why is it so hard?


Then again, no pain no gain. To look beautiful, I must at least suffer some pain.





On a much lighter note, I went to Orchard Plaza the other day to do threading on my brows. Now they're really neat & they look pretty. Gives me that very polished look which I like.
Except, I think my brows grow too fast. I see it growing already. ):
I suddenly recalled the time when I accidentally shaved half of my right eyebrow. Thank goodness my fringe can cover it!


Oh & there was this shopkeeper who made my day.
I was stepping into Orchard Plaza when he smiled at me & said, "You look very pretty."
Maybe he was trying to get me to buy his things. I don't know but I certainly felt happier after hearing him say that.



Sighs, for the next few days... I have to learn to live without contact lenses. My eyes couldn't open when I wanted to go jogging this morning because they were just too dry. I think the lack of moisture & oxygen has also been causing me to have migraines every few days.
It's not an infection. Don't worry.




Might be going back to Freshlook's lenses because I adore the natural look.


And anybody want to go exercise with me? :D
I need somebody who can really motivate me.
Was watching the biggest loser the other day & realised how much I need somebody to help me because on my own, I will not work out as much as I'm supposed to. I need somebody who is fit so I can be motivated.
And anyway, because I work out at home, I usually end up distracted. -.-'''

I feel a bit silly because the other day (never warm up properly) I was jogging when suddenly my knee started aching! My muscles around the joint was in pain. Really stupid right?
End up nearly cannot walk = cannot exercise.
This is why, I need to warm up & need somebody to help.

我穿越金星 木星 水星 火星 土星
土星追尋你 時間滴滴答滴答 答滴聲音

指頭還殘留 你為我 擦的指甲油
沒想透 你好像說過
你和我 會不會有以後

世界一直一直變 地球不停的轉動
在你的時空 我從未退縮懦弱
當我靠在你耳朵 只想輕輕對你說
我的溫柔 只想讓你都擁有

我的愛只能夠 讓你一個人獨自擁有
我的靈和魂魄 不停守侯 在你心門口
我的傷和眼淚 化為烏有 為你而流
藏在無邊無際 小小宇宙
愛你的我

愛你的我 不能停止脈搏
為了愛你奮鬥就請你讓我 說出口

愛只能夠 讓你一個人獨自擁有
我的靈和魂魄 不停守侯 在你心門口
我的傷和眼淚 化為烏有 為你而流
藏在無邊無際 小小宇宙
愛你的我 yeah~ 愛你的我 yeah~

我穿越金星 木星 水星 火星 土星
土星追尋你 時間滴滴答滴答 答滴聲音








~


I still remember the first time I listened to this song.
Sixteen then. Turning eighteen now.
Two years have passed. Now another drama related to Zhong Ji series is using it.
A Chord & Dong Cheng Wei wrote this song for X Family and now Pet Chen is singing this song for K.O 3anguo (Zhong Ji SanGuo)



I wonder if you understand how much this song means to me.
I wonder if you really felt the same way.
I still haven't forgotten although I wish to because it just hurts too much.
If I knew that loving would be so hard, perhaps I should have run away right from the beginning but that is the coward's way out.
I can't tell you anything more about how I feel.
Last night's dream or nightmare described it all.
I wonder if you had the same one...




我愛你

I think lots of people are going to think that I'm a lesbian after this post. Is it that wrong to say that another woman is hot & she's your idol? I don't see anything wrong in saying that another girl is hot & that you can't take your eyes off her. Is it that wrong?


Attractive people just attract my attention. Don't they attract yours too?


Of course another reason, why I just can't help but stare is because I want to be just like them. Or perhaps find a flaw in their beauty or something.


Is it that wrong to be unable to take my eyes off a beautiful woman? There's nothing wrong right? (:




Oh well, let me tell you who's the gorgeous babe I can't take my eyes off. It's not my reflection. Oh my, I sound like such a narcissist but it's really true. Each time, I peer into the mirror, my eyes would be glued to the reflection. Not because I'm pretty but because I like to look and stare! HAHA! :D

Okay, back to the point.

I really can't take my eyes off her & each time I watch her, I'll keep wanting to see more of her.



Introducing...

Chiaki Kuriyama!


Yes, she's Japanese!

How do I even take my eyes off her pretty face when she's just too gorgeous? I wish I could look just like her. She's tall (5cm shorter than me though) & she's slim. Plus, she's got great and attractive features that just draws me to her.

Her eyes look so pretty. They just draw my attention.


Her skin seems so flawless.


Her lips may not be like Jolie's but they do look very kissable. (Now I sound super lesbo.)


What more can I say?


Just look at her.



She looks so poised here. Just like a lady or a princess.

She looks like a doll in this photo with her large round eyes and beautiful skin.


I love! :D


And by the way, if she looks familiar to you...
Then there must be a reason.


What is the reason? Hmmm...


Well, Chiaki Kuriyama is not only a model. She's also an actress.


Have you seen her act?


If you're a fan of Kill Bill or Hyde, you probably have.

Just look at this photo.





There. Refreshed your memory?
Gogo Yubari from Kill Bill Vol 1!


This was the role that created a name for her in Hollywood.


And I mentioned Hyde didn't I?

Bet you didn't know that Chiaki is a huge fan of L'Arc~En~Ciel!


And that Chiaki has met and acted together with Hyde!

Oh yeah, that movie. Kagen No Tsuki.

Also known as The Last Quarter. That movie was so nice. I had dreams and flashes of it everywhere I went after watching it in Sec Four. I was so addicted that I sang and downloaded the piano version of Cape Of The Storms. And anyway, Chiaki's acting in the movie was pretty good. She played 3 different characters. Well, sort of 3 but it was really great! :D


Okay maybe I'm biased but yeah, I love her.


Omg! I sound so lesbian! :D
But it's alright because she's just too hot!

I posted something like this on my previous blogs already so please skip if you don't want to read this again & if you don't want a long rant...


*deep breath*



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WLE! WHAT IS WITH YOU PEOPLE!?

This is the 56815434th time you accuse me of the same thing! If you want to accuse me of that, please do it exactly one year ago. NOT NOW!


Damn stupid really.

I got really pissed because apparently, somebody told me I have a boyfriend. And you still tell me I'm denying it. If I have a boyfriend now, why should I deny? Please get your facts right.


How can I have a boyfriend if I don't know anything about him? Rubbish.

And is it so wrong for me to not have a boyfriend? To not have a guy to call on?
Oh please...
I grew up a long time ago & the fact is... I can do without a boyfriend for the time-being.
Do not assume I'm lesbian just because I don't have a boyfriend.
Just because I'm single, it does not make me any different from you. I'm human too.


And FYI, after what this heart's suffered, I think it's best if I took a break from dating.



Sure, I would love being pampered by a boy & being loved. I do want that but, if that's the only reason why I want or need a boyfriend then it is so wrong. I wouldn't want to just throw myself at any guy who is willing to pamper & love me. Then, I'll be using him & that's not fair to the other party.



If I wanted to be in a relationship, I would first take into account the chemistry that we both share & think about the guy. I'll take into account, all his good points & his flaws.


If I were to just stupidly jump into a relationship without first knowing my guy, then there is a very high probability that I may end up with another broken heart. Even if I knew him well, I might still end up hurt.


Look at Rihanna & Chris Brown.



I mean, I may end up like Rihanna if I just pick some guy who seems to have good affinity with me. I might end up like her if I didn't know the guy better & worse, the guy may take advantage of what I have.


This is reality.
I have to be careful because no matter how nice the guy is, I might end up very hurt.



And well, to those girls who say...
If I end up like Rihanna, I'll leave my guy straight away.

It's not that easy to let go of what we have. It's never easy.
We're scared of him hurting us but, we're even more scared to be left alone.


Which is why, we have to learn to carefully pick our guys.


A guy who loves us, will never harm us in any way. He may hurt us by accident but never intentionally....

Before, I start writing.
Let me apologise to Fah.


Sorry sayang for not going to your BBQ!
But I'll be seeing you soon I hope! (:



BECAUSE...


Aishah wants to organise A VITAGEN REUNION! :D
Yeah, YOU better come!
By you, I do not include that extra! :D


Vitagen reunion!
Most probably on 28th March 2009.
It's a Saturday.
I'm not really sure what you guys want to do.

Shall we just have a bowling & laser quest outing? (It'll be very short though)
Or shall we have a buffet where we can all sit down, eat, chat & camwhore?

I'm not really sure what you guys want but do text me or leave a comment on my tagboard! :DD
Love you all!

So, I got a laptop. Big deal.

It's not like I can even use it at home at the moment. No wireless. Duh.

Told my dad a few hundred times already, our house got NO WIRELESS! Still say can and we have wireless. We don't have wireless. I know & my brother knows it too.

Oh yeah. & we forgot out singnet password. Entire family did. :O

My parents = no good with technology. Neither am I actually but I guess I know some stuff.


Okay, so probably the main highlight of me enrolling was the laptop. RP was only selling these 3 brands. They are Lenovo, Acer & Fujitsu.

Guess which one I got.

I got Fujitsu. Initially planned on getting the much lighter Fujitsu S6520 but I decided to get a heavier Fujitsu S6420. They don't have much difference.

Fujitsu S6520 has a better hard disk & wider screen plus it is LED.

Whereas Fujitsu S6420 has a better graphic card.

I decided to get it because of the graphic card actually. I know. You have that look on your face because I don't play games much but hey, I do okay.


My laptop weighs 1.9kg. HEAVY! :D
I'll be training my arms with this laptop. To & fro~



This is my laptop. It's black. What? Expected a pink sony vaio to pop up? HAHA.



Oh well. RP's enrolment was..................... fast.
Thank goodness we went on the 2nd day.
The 1st day... There was a long queue!


Anyway, I'm quite baffled. How come my school, CCC. Don't have their booth set up?

And I don't really know anybody from my course!!!


Then Freshmen Orientation Camp. They never give details. Then my school also got no camp?
HUH?

Eh, confusing.

Plus, how come the CPF thing so mafan.

And. Eh, when am I going to get my card?

And. You never really ask me to go for medical check-up..
So I don't know anything.


Sian.



No lighter notes.
My only lighter note is a real heavy one.
And that weighs 1.9kg.
My laptop.




Oh. And, I think some of my schoolmates very fashionable! Nice to watch! :D
Inspired me to dress up to school.
Was wearing t-shirt & jeans during enrolment. And old t-shirts & jeans some more. (clothes all in washing because of stupid washing machine)
Shop shop shop! :D
Look forward to that part. Oh & since my mommy doesn't like what I like. I'm going to ask her to get me a watch and more leggings! :DDDDD
I love leggings! I think they have been my thing since 2006 aside from hairbands.
I remember how people would stare if you wear leggings then but now, it's more of a oh, nothing to stare at. :D


How strange.

PASTAMANIA! OUT WITH THE CLIQUE~






Well, I didn't eat salad. Duh.
I ate pasta because my parents pitied me & gave me money! :D

Still, like what Chin Ming and I have said. Pastamania isn't as nice as what it is made out to be.

I like pasta but compared to Pastamania, I think Pizza Hut's pasta are way nicer. Plus they're cheaper too!


The clique ended up trying to save money by ordering one combo. And all of us shared the drinks. (:

I think my pasta was okay. Duh. Alfredo sauce is nicer than boring old tomato paste!

I like Chin Ming's! :D Hers was some japanese pasta. No, not japanese pasta as in japanese pasta. It's just that the pasta is just that. Oh & btw. I still love Shokudo's pasta! :D Curry baked rice!
Oh & hers had the bacon sprinkled on top! I know its bacon because of Shokudo. HEH. :DDDD

Ami's baked rice also not bad. It's country baked pasta. I think pizza hut has that too.

Eve's & At's were about the same. If I'm not wrong they both ordered some pasta with seafood & broth? Broth, is kind of like soup. I learnt that a long way back because of a nursery rhyme. You know the old woman who lived in a shoe & had so many children. The children went to bed eating bread and broth.


Hmm.. In conclusion, pastamania really isn't what its made out to be. Some of the pastas weren't that good. But still, if you want a pasta meal, I guess pastamania's for you.

Though I still believe there are other places where the pasta is delicious.

end off with some photos

god knows why my face is so fat & my eyes look so squinty. Still, the more I look at the picture, the more I think that everybody's eyes are as squinty. Haha.

But my fat face. ): ): I think it's my cheekbones that causes my face to look that way. I need to learn how to do shading so my face won't look so fat!



Oh & after pasta, we walked to NTUC & got my photo taken. Wasted my $7 because I looked FAT. Duhhhh.
not only that. RP don't allow outside photos!!!!! WHAT! D:
Stupid.

Waste my $7!


We nearly played at the pasar malam. Escape outing in DEC anyone? Don't worry, rides aren't that scary. HAHA! It's lame actually.
However, I can only play at Escape because my parents never allow me on rides in Genting. The only ride I went in the other time was some stupid "upside down upside down ride" Uh-huh. Stupid.



And we've decided to get matchy matchy rings! I think black rings when engraved would look nice. Tiff & co. Chin Ming ah. Rich! @__@



Hmm. Should I get a blazer?

I swear I have absolutely a lot to blog about but I just can't seem to find the time!




I wanted to blog right now about the clique outing but I'm exhausted. I haven't had any proper sleep since a few weeks ago. Apparently, my younger brother is playing DOTA while I'm trying to get some shut eye! D:
Oh. And the computer is in my room!

Buzz off!

I should start an I HATE DOTA CLUB because I HATE DOTA!!
You ruined my life. There are other reasons other than that but I shan't talk about it.


As I said, I need some shut eye and tonight, while my brother is off in Mad, I'm going to sleep! :D
AND LOCK MY DOOR SO HE CAN STAY AWAY FROM ME & MY COMPUTER!

And FYI, He decided to be like me & pon school for Mon, Tue! AH! AMAZING!
I don't pon school for two days! I pon school for only ONE day. ONE! And he pon-ed again the next week. No valid reason!
I pon once in a few weeks. Not like him!


I swear I was so tired, I yawned 568241563 times during enrolment yesterday & I have not blogged about it.


So, yeah. A proper update TMR! :D
That is, if I wake up early because I have something on in the afternoon.

Or else, wait until Sunday or next week. (:
I have Fah's bbq on Sat! :D

Busy busy busy.

Off to sleep.



Here's a picture of me.
Sure you remember how I look like! :D


Oh & btw, if you've noticed my right eye is puffier than usual. Apparently, my eyebag got bitten by a mosquito.
So, my fine lines got worse.

My face always gets bitten. Never my body.



Okay...






I need sleep desperately.

















Chat later. BYE :)

I'm having the PMS yet again. So pardon me if I've made anybody worried with my rather emo post then. I was feeling very emo then because of certain things but I realised that such matters aren't worth my time. (:

I'm feeling slightly guilty because the washing machine's button is spoiled & damaged. HOW?
I'm having difficulty now. I can't wash the pile of clothes sitting in my closet. I was going to neaten up my closet & wash everything but now... It seems like it can't even be done!

I'm in trouble aren't I?



Still. The machine's start button was already cracking yesterday.


It does not make me feel any better though.



I'll be meeting the clique tonight. Dinner! PASTAMANIA.
Doubt I'll be eating pasta tonight. It's way over my budget. I'm probably going to spend almost $15 if I have pasta and the meal combo thingy. Therefore, in order to save money, I am going to eat salad. Mainly because it's healthier. Or, maybe I'll have a cheaper pasta and bring my own bottled water. I'll save money that way.


I've come to realised that having bringing your own bottled water is good because you can save a dollar or two whenever you have meals outside. Just drink plain water. It's much better for your health too!


Sure, what's a nice meal outside without coke and fizzy drinks? Oh. I don't drink fizzy drinks. I prefer tea, coffee and plain water. Coke really isn't good for us either.


I'm craving for a buffet though. Confirm, fat. HAHA!

My weight's pretty okay for my height. A lot of people were shocked to hear my weight but for my height. It's pretty healthy! I'm not overweight and neither am I underweight.
My BMI is only 21! HAHA!



I need to save money!!

A dozen sighs would not make me feel any better.
I'm just not feeling it anymore.
Need some me time.

I AM BANNING MYSELF FROM EATING CHOCOLATE FOR THE ENTIRE MONTH.

This is for my own good. Hopefully, my nose won't be so blocked after this & I can sing again.
Plus, it's probably going to help me loose weight... Not. ):


How to survive? ):



I need to clear my nose & buy the anti-snore thing. This is so I can breathe.




Head's still muddled up. Need a getaway trip to Sentosa. Sun, Sand, Sea!
And I want a new bikini! f21 is selling bikinis now! :D

I was in the midst of signing into blogger when all of a sudden my fan & the computer decided to stop working. The computer automatically when dead & the fan just stopped. They died on me just like that. Of course I was confused because I really didnt know what was going on. I mean... One second I was typing my password & the next... The computer & fan went dead.

I was thinking that it could have been a power failure in the house but the lights were on. Plus, the television in the living room was still working. There isn't anything wrong with my eyes too. I know the difference between the lights being on and the lights being off. I am not that dumb you know.

So, after standing around for a about a minute, I decided to fumble and play around with the electric socket. I was just too shocked & I couldn't figure out what the problem was. It didn't occur to me that I might have gotten electrocuted had the socket been faulty.

So I continued playing around with it & suddenly, I felt a jolt of electricity. Being thick-skinned (thank goodness!) I was not really electrocuted but my hair did stand. Somebody's going to KILL me after reading this. That is, if he reads this. Still, I don't really care. Playing with fire = Getting yourself burnt, didn't you know that?

Anyway, after fumbling with it for about 5 minutes. I decided to try and switch on the fan & thank goodness it worked. I was wondering why didn't it start. Chey. Realise I must switch it on. The computer too.

It gave me a scare. Still, will get my dad to check on the socket tmr. I don't want it to suddenly explode in flames or die on me a second time.


Ughh. And I am starting to hate my computer because it is laggy. I need a new one. Oh wait, I'll be getting one next week! :D
Enrolment! :D

I finally realised that I actually do have lots of friends in poly. A bunch of the seniors are there, although I don't really and have never really talked to them. It's more of a I know you & you know me kind of knowing each other. The only time we talked was a Hi? It's just like that. *shrugs*

Oh & H will finally see me around campus. He asked me about a few months ago if I was in his school. Funny question. Haha. Now I'm in RP. Oh, so I have a lookalike now? Cool!
And H is not Hakim and neither is it Hafi. H is... Quite a common name. Heh. I realised I have plenty of friends with H's name. :)


Anyway, I went to the hospital just yesterday to visit my grandfather. He seems much better now. He still scolded the doctor. That was not a surprise.

Anyway, I find it quite peculiar that he could suddenly put on weight. He hasn't eaten anything except fruits in the past 3 weeks. Plus, he's only been drinking water. He put on like about 5kg? That's a lot.

The doctors are going to do a scan to check why he's gaining weight. Other than that, he seems to be getting better. He looks healthy except he can't really walk well. He seems fine.

Oh. And while at the hospital. I learnt something new.
There's this sign on the hospital bed that says what language you speak, the race etc. And I learnt there is a language known as Uncommunicative! Wow.
It means that the patient is probably uncommunicative. So it's pretty cool! :D
It does exist.


And today, I went to my tailor. And she said, I look like I'm from China.
Now China.
What next?

First Japanese, then Korean. Then Hong Kong. Then Japanese again. Then Indonesian. The Japanese. And back to Korean. And now Chinese.
I fail at looking Singaporean.
Why is it so?
My contacts maybe? But contact lenses only do so little. People have been asking me the same old thing even when I wear my glasses.

Do I look like a foreigner to you?
Next time, somebody asks, I'll say... I'm an alien! :D
How awesome is that!


Until my next entry! :D

Presenting.............

MUSEEY'S BIRTHDAY BBQ!

What a way to bring in the BIG EIGHTEEN! Had lots of fun with him & the other redcampers. Felt really bad because I came kinda late and they had to wait for me. And I also had to leave early. Didn't even talk to his other friends because I was mostly hanging around in the shelter.

I did have lots of fun. How many times must I say it? However, it's such a bad thing I was feeling so shag because I ended up looking horrible. Umm. That doesn't really matter here but I was feeling super shag and thus ended up not really enjoying myself. Am I contradicting myself here? I guess I am but still... I think you get what I mean. It simply means, I didn't enjoy myself to the fullest. I had some stuff on my mind too.


That's our shelter which is like kinda away from the pit but it faced the seaside and was rather near the restaurant. Heck, I didn't even know there was a restaurant in Sembawang Park.

Well, not a surprise since I don't usually go to the Sembawang area. Plus the last time I went there, I was only 10. I know my mom used to live there but... I don't know much about that area. And I actually thought the restaurant was the surau. *collapses* It's obviously not right. Suraus & restaurants aren't even alike. What's wrong with me?


That's Shafiq & Mir!
Faizal. He taught me how to play the guitar a bit!
And this is my lovely Fah! I rindu! :D
Ehhhhh, I feel weird reading myself type rindu and typing it. It's almost unbelievable. Hehe. :D
But back to the point, I miss her a lot! We must meet up okay dear. Must not forget Syai, Yaya, Nianting, Ziq & the other Cenninchevitans! :DD
FAH! I LOVE YOU! :D


I know. My face damn shag. Tired okay. I'm not even sure what I did but I know I was really exhausted. Must have been all the late nights and all the pain. D:
It's okay. It's really fine.

Anyway, the kucing was so damn cute! I can't believe that half the time, I took pictures of the kucing! CATS! MIAO!




I need my pills now. D:
Can't sleep. Insomnia's taking over me again.
My mind's blank.
My heart's crying.
And when I sleep, I wake up due to the nightmares.
It's happening all over again.
1st March 2009.
I want to forget. Please.