Once upon a time, I thought we were a fairytale. A story so sweet and so beautiful. They commented on our "telepathy" & the time we spent on each other. My life was you for those few months.

My life was you & only you.

Each day was magical and I could only wish for more days to come. I never once wanted it to end. We were together almost every single day but then it happened.

We had our arguments & I guess you hated it.
I hated it too but I stuck with you because I knew that no relationship is perfect.
I knew that arguments do happen even to the most loving couple.
But I guess, you wanted something that didn't have any arguments.
I can only guess that you grew tired of me.

On the last day, I was still holding on & loving you with my heart.
I sang a song about us & I thought you knew the words too because that night, you held me in your arms so tight, I didn't want to leave you...

And the next night,
you texted me...
Telling me that if this relationship hurts you so much, then its better to end this now.
And then, we ended our story.

For the entire night, my mind was blank. I was still in shock.

The next morning, I woke up & felt like I needed you by my side & it was then it hit me.
We're no longer a couple.
I broke down & just lost my mind.
I still remember the date we ended and I still remember what happened afterwards.

I tried my best to reason with myself but no matter what I did, I couldn't accept it. The fact that you were gone, hurt me more than anything.
I felt like I had lost my life, I was like an empty shell... Walking about with a distant look in my eyes...




A month later,
it was my birthday.
I can still remember every detail. Every painful moment of that day.
I doubt I really had a sweet seventeen. It was more bitter than sweet.
Imagine it, your bf ends your precious relationship just a month before your birthday.
I didn't have a cake.
I had so few people wishing me because I was only with him for the past few months & I felt like I had betrayed some friendships..
Thank goodness for Chin Ming & Lin Lin who sort of celebrated with me that night.
It was more of eat pizza & talk & rant compared to celebration.
Eve was in England. ):
I only celebrated my birthday on the last day of August because that was when my friends were free. I didnt mind of course because I knew their schedules. I really didn't.. Honestly.
Still, the day I turned 17 was day I realised how bittersweet my life had been for 2008.


Afterwards, with each passing day...
I had nightmares until I couldn't sleep.
And my eyebags grew worse.
You haunted me like a ghost every single day until that day....


Or rather that night.
I let it all out with the music & for the first time in 9 months, I actually felt free.
My nights were sleepless no more & I could finally say out those words. Yes, those words which I'm especially fond of saying. (:


The next day, I decided to be your friend once more but I don't know...
I wasnt really able to see you try to be my friend. It was more like, I'm the only who was trying.

And then, I lost my phone.
I thought hard about it before whether I should remain inside.
And then, when I lost all my contacts, I decided... It's fate.
It's better this way....



I guess, when you said goodbye.
When you left...
It was just fated to be that way.


That photo...
Is the first and last photo we took together after we broke up.
It will be the last because from now on, I'm no longer your LLL anymore.
I've decided to walk down that path for real now & I have no more excuses to run away from it.


I'm glad that the last few words from me to you...
is Jia You!
Because, I will never get a chance to tell you to jiayou anymore. I won't.
I'm glad you saw my smile & my teeth that day. (:
Glad that the last time I behave as if I know you, I was happy and we didnt give each other so much pain.



Still, it's time for goodbye for you have hurt me so.
I need to move on.
If I were to think about us being friends, then I'll start thinking of all the hurt that you left me & I wouldn't be able to be who I am. And we will end up hurting each other.



Therefore....


It's time I go.
I'm sorry but this is the way it has gotta be.








I don't love you like I loved you yesterday.
But don't get me wrong, I still love you...
It's just that I need to heal so that when the next guy comes along, he'll have all of my heart.
Right now, my heart is still too weak to like anybody yet....
So I gotta stay strong.
For the future...







Goodbye.